


Not What I Had In Mind

by izumi2



Series: List of Questions (Civil War Team Iron Man) [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Bruce Banner, Bruce is not impressed with Natasha, Civil War Team Iron Man, Not Natasha Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-10 18:03:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12917295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izumi2/pseuds/izumi2
Summary: Natasha and Steve try to invite Tony and Bruce to go hunt for HYDRA after sinking SHIELD.The two geniuses don't think that's a good idea."A ‘call of arms’ every time one of us finds something weird is not what had in mind for the Avengers."~Bruce Banner.





	1. We Don't...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Andria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andria/gifts).



> So, idk why but I have been going over and over the aftermath of SHIELD's fall and what other possible scenarios that could have had. This popped in my head.

**_Why assemble the Avengers for HYDRA?_ **

Tony stared at the people in front of him, completely baffled. He could sense Bruce’s disbelief beside him as well and he knew that if he took a peek, the billionaire would be laughing to the point of pain.

Too bad he was still incredulous to properly enjoy the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Let me see if I am getting this right. You want to assemble the team again…to find and destroy HYDRA.”

“Yes.” Natasha sighed as if she was already tired of looking at his face. Probably true enough.

Since Pepper would have a nerve attack if Tony involved SI even more with Iron Man or Avengers business, Tony insisted on meeting the team in a coffee shop a few blocks from Stark Tower.

“Because they got Loki’s scepter… after you guys sank SHIELD. Because you guys sank SHIELD, actually.”

“Not exactly.” Steve backtracked but Tony only looked at him.

“Then how exactly?”

“HYDRA would have gotten their hands on the scepter sooner or later, we just…”

“Accelerated the process?” Bruce deadpanned.

When they only got grimaces for their troubles, the two geniuses sighed.

“Look, I understand that HYDRA is no small problem, but you do know that US does have a pretty big deal counter terrorism units, right? I mean, most of our alliance with Germany is based on the war against terror. It doesn’t need the Avengers for it, it certainly doesn’t need this much overkill. You’re asking for the Hulk, Iron Man and Thor being involved in business we really don’t have anything to do with.” Bruce finished with a shrug.

“Not even two weeks ago, HYDRA almost killed more than 700 million people, including the two of you. They are not a threat normal people can contain.” Natasha pointed out.

“Via SHIELD tech, what happened then was a bogus. If SHIELD have been infiltrated since the very beginning, why do it then and not before? If they had access to all that firepower to take out all potential threats to HYDRA why only then use it? If they were waiting for some kind of cue, what was it? There are way too many questions for us to just decide to look for them willy-nilly. Even if they have been a threat for the last seven decades, so far they have yet to truly do anything to warrant attention so the most likely scenario is that they are masking their actions trough other terrorist groups. If that’s the case, then counter terrorism is already doing something about it. It hardly needs us, any of us.” Bruce finished and took another sip from his tea, not being the least bit inclined to re-join the Avengers.

“HYDRA has always been more than normal units could handle. Natasha is right. I know that none of you has experience dealing with HYDRA, but you have to see how dangerous they are, the normal proceedings would be useless.” Steve’s earnest speech gathered no more interest than the rest of the conversation.

“Why?” this time it was Tony that sighed.

“Why what?”

“Why is HYDRA something that no normal unit can handle?”

This made them quiet.

“Their leader was Red Skull.”

Bruce didn’t bother to lift his eyes from his journal anymore, “Dead.”

“They managed to infiltrate SHIELD, who knows what other intelligence agency they have their hands on?”

“That’s the name of the game espionage. They spy you, you spy them. Hardly something that the Avengers as a group would be very good at, sans you and perhaps Barton.”

“Why **_don’t_** you want to do this?” it seemed that Natasha got tired of whatever game she was trying to play.

This time Bruce paid attention, “Excuse me?”

“Bruce.” Tony cautioned.

“No!” he turned towards the spy, “Whatever makes you think that I wanted in, in the first place? I didn’t want to go with you to the Hellicarrier, I didn’t want to be a member of the Avengers and I **_still_** maintain that this group is a horrible idea. Not only there is no trust among the members, but we clash too horribly, there was no time to team-bonding exercises, no time to know each other, we were thrown together and expected to play nice with people that we never met! Whoever had the idea to put us together was a moron! And now you want us to band again? The last time we saw each other was two fucking years ago, you guys are strangers to me and to be honest I don’t want to get to know you.”

Natasha didn’t know what to say to that and it seemed that neither did Steve, when Tony sighed again, he was massaging his temples.

“There are good reasons why I never tried to change my status to consultant to full member of the Avengers. I need to remind you that I created Iron Man for the sole reason of cleaning up what my negligence helped create: SI tech in the hands of terrorists. This has the potential to clash with the Avengers Initiative and that hasn’t changed just because SHIELD is out of the picture. I agreed to participate in Avengers missions in a need-to basis because I agreed with the idea behind it: to do what no normal people can’t do. But that’s not what you guys are asking, we will be nosing in stuff that is none of our business, perhaps it will be different if it was only Captain America and two former SHIELD agents that want to help clean up what SHIELD created, considering what my career as Iron Man is all based on, I don’t think anyone will say anything but me? Bruce? Thor? We can’t be seen doing this stuff. I give it two months before there are riots on the streets.”

“No one will say anything if Captain America’s teammates help him defeat his oldest enemy.” Natasha’s voice lowered, more persuasive.

“Actually I am pretty sure they would. As they would say stuff if the Avengers helped me destroy SI stuff overseas.”

“But this is why the Avengers were created in the first place! For us to defeat foes that we would not be able to otherwise.” Steve was frustrated with how the conversation was going and it was beginning to show.

Tony gawked a little before rubbing his eyes, his voice was for once absent of sarcasm but not the snark, “Alright, listen to me. The Chitauri? That was Avengers business. No one would be able to defeat **_that_** by themselves. Not the Hulk and not Thor and certainly not the army, any army from any country. That was truly an ‘end of the world’ situation if we weren’t together. The Ten Rings? I can manage. AIM? I did manage. That robot thing in Mexico? Thor blew it sky high. Abomination? Perhaps Thor with backup but aside from Hulk, the rest of us would become road kill before really doing anything useful. When HYDRA hijacked the Hellicarriers? You both and that Wilson guy managed it. We get together just for anything and I really, really doubt that there won’t be anyone saying that what we are doing borders on fascism and there will be people that will listen to it because if you strip away everything down to our actions…it will be kinda hard to deny that we are a small group of people deciding who to save and who to kill…because we would be just that.”

“Like Tony said, if it is an ‘end of the world’ situation, I won’t be happy, but I will assist as the Other Guy. The Avengers shouldn’t be something to be treated so lightly. It should be an ace in the hole not a Joker card.”

Tony turned to them, “So, yeah. In case it treads in the ‘overwhelming odds’ waters, I guess we can assemble the team, but terrorists? There are people qualified, legalized and trained for just that because say we step in, do we kill everyone in HYDRA strongholds? Arrest everyone there? On what authority? And where do we hold them? Or to whom we deliver them? We wouldn’t even begin to know what to do.”

“I cannot believe you would just ignore HYDRA like that. Don’t you know what they are capable of? I thought you were heroes, Avengers.” for the first time, both geniuses glared at the soldier.

“I think we are more intimately familiar with terrorism that you seem to think.” Bruce gritted out.

“I kinda don’t think being an Avenger makes us heroes, but ‘ok’.” Natasha and Steve boggled at Tony but Bruce got pensive before a look of bored realization took its place.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, “What? Did you forget New York? Aliens raining down on us?”

Tony’s unimpressed expression was all she got, “I’m not saying that what we did wasn’t heroic or impressive. But ‘saving the world’ we already live in is not exactly proof of any altruistic character trait because we either save the world or die alongside it. Or in this particular case, be conquered. If the Avengers were created to ‘save the world’, that doesn’t make the Avengers heroes.”

“Really? Not even your very selfless sacrifice play?” the spy deadpanned against Tony’s equally bland face, not willing to show how much that affected her, her belief that being part of the Avengers was doing for her and the red in her ledger.

“Most of my stuff is in Manhattan. If anything, I think the only hero in that fight was Thor. Dr. Foster notwithstanding, he did not have to be in that fight.”

“What about Thor? It is his brother’s scepter.” The redhead replied and the inventor had the urge to slam his head against the table. He was pretty sure that everything he just said was ignored.

“Well, if you want to talk about it with him, then sure. But seriously, count me out.” The billionaire gulped down the rest of his coffee and slapped a bill on the table, ready to go back to his lab.

“Count me out too. When I agreed to be on the team, it was in a case by case. A ‘call of arms’ every time one of us finds something weird is not what had in mind for the Avengers. Especially when it’s other people’s job to take care of it, people who are better trained and actually have the legal permission to go around arresting or killing other people.” Bruce shrugged and got up from his seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY assemble the Avengers for HYDRA? Iron Man never did that for retrieving/destroying SI stuff or for AIM, Bruce certainly never did that to fight the Abomination, Thor didn't do that to fight the Dark Elves. NATASHA AND STEVE didn't think of that mid WS... so...
> 
> Steve wants to fight HYDRA so much, well, join the JTTF, I'm sure they would be happy to have him.
> 
> I have other work (s) in progress, that was SO not I wanted to post first, but I guess my Bruce Bitterness just run amok. I'm SO f*** pissed on his behalf after watching Ragnarok.


	2. We Haven't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here we are, *smiles nervously*
> 
> Seriously this fic beat me up so much and I'm not totally happy with this chap, next one is better, promise!

_"Sir? There is an upcoming call. One Fritzy Harold, a FBI agent along with one Adelina Ungur from SRI are trying contact you.”_

“Hmm.” Tony was barely conscious enough to even understand that JARVIS was talking to him. He wasn’t twenty anymore, after a fifty hour engineer binge, he was exhausted and just by some miracle – Bruce or Rhodey delivered – he was on his bed instead of having a wrench digging on his cheek.

_“There has been a conflict involving Mr. Steve Rogers and Ms. Natalia Romanova along with Mr. Clint Barton and former Air Force Staff Sargent Sam Wilson in Brasov, Romania. Multiple loss of life along with injuries and private and public property damage and this wasn’t the first time those same four people have been involved in some kind of international skirmish of some kind. Germany, France, Italy, Hungary and Bulgaria have been complaining of the multiple violations of their sovereign borders. Up to this point there hasn’t been significant damages, however there is a count of forty two deaths and at least a hundred of injuries in Brasov.”_

“Uhum.” Tony turned again, still dead to the world. And JARVIS? Well. In his vast and advanced capacity, it all revolved around his primary objective. A goal that he set for himself just as he uttered the first words in this world.

Protect Doctor Anthony Edward Stark.

As the years went by, JARVIS set up multiple directives around that goal. Including people and situations. His self-acquired job even included organizing sir’s schedule for the upcoming months. His hours were already booked fully with the scarce moments JARVIS managed to organize so sir can rest for half an hour or so before another demanding man or woman would call or knock on his office.

Although the situation at hand was new, JARVIS carefully reviewed what led to it…and how it could possibly involve sir at all since the AI, for all his ridiculously huge memory and processing capacity, was at loss on the reason sir was contacted at all.

First, Natalia Romanova and Steve Rogers attempted to recruit sir and Dr. Banner to assemble the Avengers once again. As far as JARVIS was aware, the Avengers were a project handled by one Nicholas Fury, its primary goal was to ‘fight the fights that no one else would be able to’. But Ms. Romanova and Mr. Rogers were discussing plans to dismantle HYDRA, a neo-Nazi terrorist organization that is as infamous as ISIS and yet… no talks about ISIS were forthcoming.

Although JARVIS understood that HYDRA held personal history with one Captain America much in the same way that sir is still going after SI stray weapons caches, JARVIS had yet to see any offering of help in sir’s personal endeavors. Be it what began Iron Man’s career to 2013 when sir was reportedly dead and then fighting enhanced soldiers alongside Colonel Rhodes to save the president’s life.

JARVIS understood Mr. Rogers’ involvement but why assemble the Avengers for it? A “fight” that was in perfect jurisdiction of several counter terrorism agencies especially in U.S and E.U, HYDRA’s main focus of attacks?

Whatever the case, sir’s and Dr. Banner’s refusal to participate didn’t seem to have derailed their plans.

Sam Wilson and Clint Barton were contacted by one Natalia Romanova at the behest of one Steve Rogers and they have been city hopping through Europe from 2014 to now, 2015.

Not very glamorously mind you, the Quinjet acquired after SHIELD fell had quickly run out of gas and they were forced to book coach flight seats which made them spend several hours just on transit with each “mission”.

JARVIS paused and then dedicated a little of his hard drive to analyze possible patterns. Since this wasn’t the first time they have performed similar actions, it was easy enough.

Witnesses watched Steve Rogers leading this little group into several buildings in many countries, many of said buildings ceased to exist due to his actions. The only reason the cities and countries refrained from taking legal action up to now was because most of those buildings and people assaulted were under HYDRA banner, something that posterior investigations manage to conclude after painstakingly combing the ruins they left behind.

If JARVIS had a body he would be tilting his head, not sure whether to feel horrified or amused.

None of the… Avengers? Can they still be called that when the Avengers was a SHIELD project and SHIELD was no more? Either way, none of the Avengers seemed aware of the international tensions rising, or if they were, they displayed an alarming lack of concern for it. JARVIS would expect that at least Captain America would be more conscious of his name and affiliation and how Europe and especially Africa would feel about Americans. And Asia seemed to be the continent of the time. JARVIS could have been humming to himself, a finger in his chin as he analyzed one of the latest exploits.

The data available from the forties was spotty at best, most people didn’t really get interested in the details aside from what is affecting them now but JARVIS knew that science evolving was one of the factors that contributed to scientific proofs in a court such a fingerprints, blood, hair, security cameras even psychological studies.

Steve Rogers perhaps doesn’t have the background to understand it but Natalia Romanova does and yet…

The last Hydra cell they took down was not much different in MO than the previous… missions. They went, knocked everybody out and destroyed all research… and with that all evidence of any wrongdoings which forced local authorities to release them, Hydra or not.

That fact doesn’t seem to discourage any of them thou.

Well… whatever the case, JARVIS couldn’t see any reason anyone should be contacting Sir. Iron Man briefly helped the Avengers during an alien invasion and that was it. SHIELD is no more and Tony Stark hardly had any reason to associate himself with them.

Satisfied for now, JARVIS forward the calls for the desk's secretary to handle. If they wished for Sir’s time then they should adhere to social politeness and schedule a meeting.

~*~

Natasha tightly controlled the urge to pace the small room she escorted to and not only because that’s a sign of weakness that she was unwilling to show but also because her ankle was swollen. The medic that took a look at it said it was mainly bruised, not twisted or broken. _Ice and keep your weight off of it_. Yeah, right. Natasha scoffed. The man that didn’t look older than twenty something, he was twitchy and he clearly wanted to get away as fast as he could.

That’s actually why she was there at all. The last mission was a bust, they were overwhelmingly outnumbered and while that’s not usually a concern with Steve on your side, it became one when Hydra had access to high tech weapons.

The doors finally opened. They were a magnetically locked and she was without any tools, they even removed her hair pins!

A non-descript woman walked in accompanied by two security guards armed to the teeth.

“Hello, Ms. Romanova, I’m the officer in charge, Adela Cheban, I trust that you have been read your rights?” her voice was heavily accented.

“That I’m not allowed to make a peep?” she maintained the same lightly joking manner, “What about a phone call?”

The pleasant manner that Cheban kept until now faltered a little and she frowned, “I’m uncertain about what to address first. You’re not in America, Ms. Romanova, Romania has different laws. It is within your rights to make no statements, I believe Americans say, “You have the right to remain silent”, I don’t see how it’s so different. Now, we need identification and passport and I shall read the charges.”

“Oh, your officers were so fast, I didn’t manage to grab my purse.”

She was talking out of her ass and they both knew it but Natasha had to give it to Cheban, the woman took it without ever changing her expression.

“That’s unfortunate. Well, since identification is impossible at this point, let’s proceed to the charges. You’re being charged with illegal entry – of course until we have your proper documentations to clear that up, visa and passport must be updated, yes? – destruction of private and public property, assault and manslaughter, oh, and robbery of course, the owner of the car you appropriated was very upset that you crashed his property into another vehicle.”

“I see, how do we proceed?”

“Now we can get you legal counsel. Is there an attorney you’d like for us to contact in specific?”

And now Natasha had to take a few moments. She never even saw the inside of a delegacy before. Fury or someone at SHIELD never even let the car get there at all. But SHIELD was no more.

Natasha just smiled politely a hint of triumph in her eyes that she didn’t let affect her voice, “I supposed you can call Tony Stark.”

That didn’t get her the reaction she was expecting. Usually Stark manage to get out of any kind of skirmish smelling like roses, a cheering crowd in the background and the apologies of any politician regardless of rank. But Cheban only frowned at her.

“I was unaware that one of Dr. Stark’s degree is in law, if that is the case and he agrees to represent you, by all means, we can enter in contact with him. Do you have a number we might use?”

“No I do not, but I think he is an easy man to find.”

Cheban raised her eyebrows, “I… don’t know why you would think that. A few months ago, Romania was in talks with Stark Industries to build a headquarters here in Bucharest and Ms. Potts send Dr. Stark himself, not from U.S but from Canada and after the meeting was completed, Dr. Stark didn’t go back to U.S, he went to Australia. I think the last I heard and that was a month ago so it is very probably outdated information, Dr. Stark was in South Korea, I don’t know where he is right now.”

“Stark Industries headquarters is still out for the public to see.”

“Aham… very well, I shall contact Stark Industries then.”

Not saying another word, Cheban got out of her chair and went out of the room, closing the door behind her, she turned to the officers, “Wanna bet that I’ll only ever get some variation of “Would you like to schedule a meeting?”.”

“Considering that Rogers also said to contact Stark and we got that exact response from the secretary of his secretary of his secretary? Sucker’s bet.”

“Who exactly was that?” they kept walking.

“Uh…I know that since Potts became CEO, Stark’s secretary is someone called Friday? Anyway, the front desk girl only had access to contact one of Friday’s subs that said he would forward a note to her. So… secretary of the secretary of the secretary.” He shrugged.

“Honestly, I’m still trying to understand why Stark would and should be contacted at all. How is any of this his problem?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, basically, this chap is me asking the universe, the Powers that Be... why is it Tony's job to be the Avengers' maid?
> 
> They make a mess, they clean it themselves...
> 
> Also, Tony just kinda gave up on trying to hire a secretary after he promoted Pepper and just activated Friday... much easier than risking another Rushmanov incident...


	3. We Won't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and/or Good Holidays for all those that celebrate it!! ;))

Tony yawned as he got out of the shower.

Grabbing the first three-piece suit that reasonably matched, he combed his hair with half lidded eyes before taking the elevator.

“Good morning.” He said in perfect German to the waitress of the hotel’s restaurant and placed his order when his earpiece chirped.

_“Boss? Your meeting is in two hours and I took the liberty to make reservations in FACIL.”_

“My favorite. Did you get in contact with the candidates for manager?”

_“After fine combing, you’ll be meeting with five possibilities in the next two weeks while overseeing the final touches in the new Stark Tower in Berlin.”_

“Finding my roots.” Tony rolled his eyes, “I like Germany and Howard’s parents were German, but did you know that the first time I ever visited was when I was almost fifteen? And I never even met my grandparents.”

_“Yes, but PR still think it’s a good idea for the Towers in Germany and Italy to be finalized before we expand to Tokyo and Australia.”_

“Italy because of mom,” Tony sighed at the whole thing, “Yeah, whatever.”

He took in the, admittedly, very beautifully constructed streets and buildings and Tony knew that he wouldn’t mind living here but still. Sometimes PR really milked the whole family and roots thing.

The billionaire’s eyes wandered and stopped at the TV screen in the lobby, he could barely make out the words from the restaurant and the only reason he could see what was on the screen was because of its massive side. But Natasha’s red hair was unmistakable as was the familiar sight of explosions in the background.

“Uh… Fri?”

_“Yes, Boss?”_

“What did I just see?”

~*~

 _“Sir, I must insist once again for you to reconsider.”_ JARVIS’ frustrated voice accompanied him as Tony made his way to his car from the last meeting of the day.

Friday ahed and ohed at him until Tony rolled his eyes and went looking himself.

News stations weren’t talking about anything else for the last six months…and Tony didn’t know what to think.

Eight months ago when they – Bruce and Tony – turned them down, Tony didn’t think that Natasha and Rogers would be nuts enough to take their Avengers fight – and all the explosions that follow – to foreign sovereignty.

Captain AMERICA blowing stuff up in Europe, in Asia, in Africa. The only place that didn’t take a beating were Canada and Oceania… and the Poles, that made headlines faster than Tony ever managed in his twenties, he would be impressed if he could feel anything other than disbelief.

“He could have at least **_not_** worn the uniform.” He muttered to himself as he watched the latest debacle in Romania as Rogers – in all the red, blue and white glory with the big “A” in his forehead – and co were caught by some kid with a StarkPhone, Tony snorted to himself.

_“Sir.”_

“Jay… lay off. I went to the meetings that Fri scheduled just as I promised when they were scheduled almost three months ago. I made a decision for manager of the newest Stark Tower in Berlin. I had a walk, I had a good night’s sleep, I woke up early and had a full breakfast. You know why? Because I understand that I’m in no way responsible for their mess and I also understand that they are in no immediate danger of anything, physical or otherwise. This isn’t me rushing to fix things on impulse. This is me trying to understand what the hell is going on.”

JARVIS was silent for a few moments, _“Very well, Sir. But I still do not see why it warrants your physical presence.”_

“You know me, Jay. I like a hands-on approach.” Besides he was feeling the tiniest bit guilty that he was so busy he didn’t know about it until now.

To be fair, since Stark Tower in New York was a success, both – Pepper and Tony – barely stopped in a single country for more than three weeks anyway.

~*~

“Dr. Stark, you may have legal degrees but you never even took the Bar Exam therefore you can’t legally act on your teammates’ behalf even having the knowledge.” Cheban was impressed that Stark was fluent in Romanian, but she supposed it wasn’t a total shock. It was hardly the first time the billionaire was in Romania after all.

“I think you misunderstood me,” Tony was sitting in the uncomfortable chair in front of Cheban, “I do not wish to act on the behalf of anyone. As an Enhanced that, on occasion, act on international soil, I am somewhat concerned about what my **_brief_** and **_former_** teammates got involved in and the possible precedents it could make.”

“In other words…?”

“I merely wish to have access to the case until it is concluded. I don’t even have to make contact with any of them if that would get in your way, they don’t even need to know that I’m here, actually I would prefer it that way since… well… I don’t intend to do much of anything, as I said.” And he really didn’t want to hear the whining.

Friday told him about the calls from Rogers and Romanoff. At least Barton and… Wilson…? Was it? Didn’t have an imagination so out of there that they thought to call him. What Rogers and Romanoff thought that he could do, Tony didn’t know.

Did they want him to pay bail? But that didn’t make sense when they refused legal counsel and insisted Cheban and her team called him.

“Because you are worried about the precedents.” She raised an eyebrow.

“May we speak openly?”

“Please.”

“Sometimes Iron Man’s presence is required in other countries but I’m still American. If the governments of the world hesitate to call me or allow me entry when they didn’t before…the lives in danger would be in my conscience if I don’t at least try to mitigate.”

“You understand that U.S aside in Rogers’, Wilson’s and Barton’s cases, Russia won’t be happy with an American’s interference, yes?”

“Like I said: I don’t intend to interfere in anything, be it the investigations or even the results. But I am hoping we could work together so the focus is on justice after the crime is committed and, of course, in the MO.”

“You want us to draw more attention to the fact that they were in Romanian soil illegally than to the fact that you were all, at some point, part of the same… team.”

“Call me selfish if you will, but I’m not willing to be painted with the same brush when I barely know what the mess is all about.”

“Where will the next Stark Tower be build?” the Romanian president spoke for the first time since arriving and taking his seat.

“We just inaugurated the German one. Next on the list is Italy and then Japan. Construction in Australia is well under way as is the Canadian one. We are currently in talks with Spain, England and France and, of course, Romania.”

“Bump us to next in line and we have a deal.”

Tony could feel the migraine that putting Romania right after Canada will give him with Spain, but, “Deal.”

~*~

“Nothing for nothing, but these one way mirrors are at the same time cool and perverted.” Tony mumbled to JARVIS.

_“I am of the opinion that you often forget how old you were when I was first activated, Sir.”_

Tony still remembered his twenties thank you very much, “Yep. Good point.”

The billionaire blinked at the sight Romanoff made.

Her hair was in disarray, no makeup – and boy did the woman wear some heavy makeup – and in yesterday’s clothes. Well… three days old clothes and considering it was the leather and Kevlar catsuit, Tony could only picture how bad it would be if the Romanians haven’t allowed for hygiene. Actually he was thinking back to what Romanian prisons were like before joining the EU, the pictures weren’t pretty.

“Shouldn’t there be a lawyer somewhere?”

Cheban snorted beside him where she was organizing Romanoff’s file, “Romanoff and Rogers keep insisting to talk to you. At this point I have no idea if they want you to represent them or if they want you to water their plants while they’re not home.”

Tony couldn’t help but smile at her, then he shrugged, “When I saw the news, my PA did mention that the Romanian government wanted to get in touch with me on their behalf… I was almost certain that they wanted me pay their bail.”

The officer snorted again but before she was out of the room, she turned to Tony, “Back then with the president, you said, “Call me selfish if you will, but I’m not willing to be painted with the same brush when I barely know what the mess is all about.”.”

“Good memory.”

“Thank you. You said the word, “barely”, I understand that you have only known each other for a few moments, but does that mean that you have some idea of their motivations?”

“They’ve been here for three days, you already charged them… with proof because, kinda hard to argue with a video. Court date has been set.”

“Yes, but they have been less than cooperative. Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barton have already talked to their lawyers. They are almost settling out of court since they weren’t the ones to… issue the most damages.”

“Rogers, right?” Tony rolled his eyes.

Wilson could fly around and shoot people, Romanoff and Barton could run around and shoot people. Even considering small explosives or the different kind of arrows, they couldn’t do much to a whole building unless they carry C4 around with them.

“That’s not hard to deduce. His strength level is…considerable,” Cheban shook her head, “I still don’t understand how it is possible that there are so many explosions.”

“Not to play devil’s advocate, but usually the bad guy of the week brings the explosives… it just seems that Rogers isn’t all that good at knowing where to chuck it.”

That made something click in Cheban’s head, “I heard a story about his basic training. Army Colonel Philips was trying to keep the trainees in line and threw a fake grenade…”

“And Rogers heroically threw himself atop of it.” Tony would be mocking but… he sighed, “He really doesn’t know how to deal with explosives.”

“This kind of thinking, that he doesn’t value any life be it his own or others’…very extremist. He either dies or other people die.” Cheban agreed, “You didn’t answer my question.”

Tony pursed his lips, “Eight months ago Rogers and Romanoff showed up in Stark Tower in New York. They were trying to convince me and Dr. Banner to join in missions to pursue Hydra.”

“Hydra? The terrorist organization? They were trying to tackle a terrorist organization?” Cheban was almost red in fury, of all the idiocies that this could have been about…

“Agent Cheban, please note that this may not necessarily be about Hydra. The timing is obvious, but…these people were recruited by one very paranoid bastard of a man within SHIELD so I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt in the first moment.”

But Cheban only glared at him, “Whoever this “paranoid bastard” is, he clearly wasn’t paranoid enough to notice Hydra right below his nose. These people, all of them, are either incompetent or are a little too comfortable with their status quo modus operand of the ends justifies the means.”

Tony could only make a face as the agent took a deep breath to calm herself before walking towards the interrogation room.

What could he even say about any of it?

Back in 2012, Tony looked around the room and couldn’t help the thought that whoever put the Avengers together was an idiot. When Hydra was revealed in their ranks, Tony was willing to put that crap on Hydra. But Cheban **_was_** right and put into words something that Tony didn’t want to think about.

Because where would that leave them?

Fury’s little Batman Act ended with the man trying to knock him down a peg, _“You think you’re the only superhero in the world?”_ which was as nonsensical as it got but that implied that Fury – and SHIELD – had their pick to build their Super Band and chose the six of them in specific. Perhaps not Thor, since his presence could be taken as a happy accident. But still. Someone looked at them and thought it was a good idea to throw them in the same room and hope for the best.

That left them with a few options:

Fury lied – Tony rolled his eyes – and there were a lot less Enhanced to form his Super Band so they were his only shot at the Avengers.

SHIELD was an idiot for putting them together. Debatable but not completely out of question, Tony didn’t know if that was a byproduct of decades being infiltrated so they were woefully crippled in all senses or they were that dumb. Romanoff and Rogers certainly gave weight to that option. They thought it was a good idea that this amazing strike team was such an awesome combination that they thought nothing of it that the group was put together while SHIELD was infested with Hydra despite their clear incompatibility.

Well… if Hydra had any finger on the Avengers and Romanoff and Rogers just decided to roll with it, it didn’t matter if it was SHIELD that was stupid or Hydra that sabotaged the whole group, Rogers and Romanoff were idiots and the end result was the same.

Tony groaned just as the door to the interrogation room was opened and Cheban walked in.

_What a mess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick notice: This fic now has four chaps (smiles sheepishly).
> 
> ~*~
> 
> 1) Ok, Tony doesn't have to be involved whenever the Avengers f* up. Enough said. That was one thing that I never understood in CW: why was his name even mentioned at all for Maximoff? Babysitting much? That was one of two things (the other was Peter, but Marvel already made a case that they don't care if kids are in danger... unless it's Maximoff) that I got angry with Tony about. Let Maximoff and co sink on their own crap, why kick dust in your own name trying to help? (And the right kind of help as it was, not the "let's punch the problem in the face" a lá Rogers).
> 
> 2) Even **wanting** to help, what Tony can reasonably do? Sure, he asked Vision to ask Maximoff to stay inside, but TONY wouldn't be the one the clean anything up, that would be a lawyer's job. We have that WTH theoretical clause of cleaning previous records in the Accords (so Tony would just have to use THAT and T'Challa's involvement in Bucharest to clean Wilson, Rogers and Barnes) but the Accords don't exist yet, so...
> 
> 3) No hurry for Tony. It's not like there is anyone trying to kill Natashalie and co and SI takes precendent because of the hundreds of thousands of employees that depend on SI to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. Hundreds of thousands vs four idiots... yeah...
> 
> 4) Unfortunately I see Tony getting involved because Cap and co were idiots enough to be Americans (or sort of in Natashalie's case) and blow stuff in other people's country since that can negatively impact Iron Man and even SI.
> 
> 5) I wrote a little bit about Romanoff's appearence after three days in a police station because Iron Man 2 and CW were... did they hire a hairdresser for in between shots? 'Cause they made a point to give TONY bruises but not to anyone else, not even to the supposedly almost strangled Romanoff that left the building without a single mark... uh??? Scarlett in G. I. Joe was also almost strangled and the makeup was all out: purple and yellow. A normal human sweats because it's hot outside, so I'm sorry if I don't buy it.
> 
> 6) Something occurred to me: that granade scene in CA TFA and then the explosion in Lagos... Steve ACTS like he doesn't value ANY life (not saying that he truly doesn't) but be it his own (as his fight against Bucky in WS proved) or others' (Lagos)... it's "them or us" and he doesn't care either way (unless it's Bucky). That's terrifying.
> 
> 7) The Avengers... I think the last couple of paragraphs are enough *shrugs* what a horrible team combination!


	4. We Really Shouldn't...

**_ Why Are The Avengers a Horrible Choice to Fight Hydra? _ **

“Good evening, Ms. Romanoff.”

Cheban had to take several deep breaths before entering the room.

The conversation with Stark didn’t go how she planned. She was honestly thinking that the Avengers were… what? On vacation… without a passport and not bothering with things like customs and effing identifying themselves before stepping foot in another country and happened to stumble into whatever they stumbled fully armed?

But fighting a terrorist organization was **_not_** in her wildest imagination.

“Cheban, right?” was it even surprising her that Romanov, whatever, need confirmation?

“That would be correct. You will now be escorted to the debriefing room.”

It was written all over the redhead’s face that she thought this was the start of her being out of there with an apology. Cheban wanted to laugh in her face, but that would be unprofessional.

As it was, this was no longer in her hands, the situation was too much for her and her division, something she already knew right off the bat but also aware that the politicians themselves were scrambling on whose lap to drop the bomb. Captain America was far from a hero or even… anything, really for… EU, not only Romania, regardless of their ties with U.S. The Black Widow was a former Russian spy with connection to the KGB. Clint Barton is an American mercenary. Sam Wilson is a retired American airman. Her division could only be glad that this mess wasn’t theirs to solve.

Cheban truly pitied the Minister of Foreign affairs, the poor sod prevaricated as much as he could, but ultimately… this fits his bill.

Although Romanoff’s face as she entered the room…didn’t quite make this worthy it, but it did make Cheban’s day.

The room was huge, and the new addition since Enhanceds became more numerous. Not that the president was hoping for it, but it didn’t hurt to have reinforced holding facilities with Enhanceds in mind.

Before she knew what was going on, Cheban strapped Romanoff to the chair and table that was side by side with the other tree that were occupied by her teammates, all of them in mechanical locks out of their reach. Brute strength wouldn’t do any of them good, since U.S and Romania were partners in increasing each other’s military and security, it stood to reason that Tony Stark would also supply Romania with Starkium for their defense. And yes, Cheban was fully appreciating the irony of the situation and could almost **_feel_** Stark’s eye from the other side of the mirror. The man for sure followed after making sure that Romanoff was out.

“You will be jointly questioned by a SRI agent.” Damn, her English has always been heavily accented but it seems that it got worse when she was aggravated, not something she cared to find out.

“SRI?” Rogers asked and Cheban could only stare for a few seconds in incredulity before replying.

“Serviciul Român de Informații, Romania Inteligence Service.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not Romanian.” He attempted at a smile that was once again answered by an incredulous stare.

Cheban didn’t answer before leaving and finally feeling air entering her lungs. God that was a stressful few days. She straightened her suit and got back to the work she was actually qualified for.

“Steve,” Sam whispered, looking clearly embarrassed, “considering that the Avengers operate internationally, we **_should_** know the intelligence agencies that operate and protect the nation we are in. At least their names and jurisdiction.”

“Sam, how could we know something like that?” he tried to comfort his teammates but instead it was his turn to go red.

“I did.” All three responded.

“Steve, didn’t you pay attention to debrief packages in SHIELD? Ok, so they were basically going, ‘Watch out for organization X and… delicate political situation in this country, etc.’, but they were there. After so many years, you kinda learn through sheer exhaustion if not for trying to look out for them.” Clint complained.

“‘Look out for them’? Why do I have the feeling you don’t mean in the sense of ‘we can count on them’?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Because I don’t? No one is supposed to even know that SHIELD exists remember? So Fury usually wasn’t happy to bail us out if we get caught, boy GRU was a pain in the ass…”

“Russia.” Natasha explained at Steve’s look of confusion.

They were interrupted from saying anything else by the dozen or so people that entered the room, some of them armed but all of them in suits.

“My name is Dumitru Costin, I will be the agent in charge of your prosecution. I don’t know how familiar you are with the American legal system, but we have some similarities in Romania. In three hours you will officially have been held for seventy two hours because of the… unusual situation we are in, we apologize for the delay. We have contacted the American and Russian embassies and explained that we offered legal counsel for all of you, U.S sent an Ambassador and their own lawyers. Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barton accepted and you have signed the official notice stating that you have lawyers in your disposition, Mr. Rogers and Ms. Romanova asked for one Anthony Edward Stark PhD and we have been unable to get in contact with Dr. Stark. That said, we are legally obligated to ask again: is there any legal professional we should contact on your behalf?”

“Tony didn’t answer? We need his help and that’s what we get? He ignored us?” Steve looked at Natasha but she wasn’t looking at him.

“Uh… Steve? Why did you contact Stark?”

But Sam went unanswered when Dumitru interrupted, “As neither of you have Dr. Stark’s personal number, we used the public ones. Considering where you most likely met and where Mr. Rogers and Dr. Stark were born, the one we used was Stark Tower’s number. The secretary then informed Agent Cheban that Dr. Stark is not currently in America, instead he was in German and en route for Japan, however, and understandably, she was unaware of his exact location. Is there anyone else we should call?”

Complicated feelings set in Romanova and Rogers’ faces and Tony didn’t know if he should laugh or grimace some more.

“Anyone would serve.” Romanoff finally answered.

“Nat!”

“Steve we have no idea where Stark even is.”

“He should have told us!”

The agents and ambassadors were all too well trained for it but Wilson, Barton and even the redhead herself paused… and Tony was kinda wishing for popcorn at that point.

“Stark should have told us what?”

“Where he is! How can he help like this?”

“…why should he have? Did you guys talk to him about lending SI’s lawyers?” Sam was looking at Natasha and Steve, completely confused.

When all Steve could do was open and close his mouth, Dumitru cleared his throat, “As entertaining as this is. Ms. Romanova has asked for a lawyer, Mr. Rogers? Is there anyone we can call?”

“Yes! Tony!”

“I think it is very clear that no one in this room even knows where Dr. Stark is, how exactly would you have us contacting him? For now, the lawyer sent by the U.S embassy was tasked for your case should you agree with that arrangement.”

The woman in question took a step forward at that while Barton and Wilson’s lawyers sent themselves beside their clients.

As he watched Romanoff and Rogers agreeing, Tony was never happier that Cheban wasn’t in the room. Going down as collateral damage was just too horrific and inhumane even if only her career instead of her life.

“Before we charge you, there are details in need of attention. We were in talks with Dr. Banner…”

“You talked to Bruce but couldn’t even reach Tony?” Natasha’s eyes narrowed and even Tony frowned since this was the first he was hearing of it.

“Dr. Banner himself many times illegally crossed sovereign borders but he hardly has visas and proper authorization. One of the conditions in his pardon was that he wouldn’t leave U.S. so reaching Dr. Banner, who took residence in Dr. Stark’s California property, was a simple enough matter.”

“And Bruce couldn’t have reached Tony?”

“If he could, we didn’t ask him.”

“And why not?”

“Because we are hardly going to involve American civilians in Romanian’s federal affairs. Dr. Stark was your choice of legal counsel but he wasn’t needed for the investigation itself since it was determined that Dr. Stark wouldn’t have much more information than Dr. Banner did. As for Dr. Banner, he told us that several months ago, you tried to recruit both Drs. Banner and Stark to… hunt for Hydra, was that your intention in our country?”

All lawyers requested that they didn’t any more questions and that’s what they did, Dumitru met everybody’s eyes and concluded, “Very well, you’ll be charged with reckless endangerment, manslaughter, battery, robbery, assault, destruction of private and public property and for illegally entering Romanian sovereign borders. We were almost charging terrorism as well and involving the ICC but the Ambassador convinced us not to.”

“Excuse me,” Sam ignored his lawyer’s warnings, “terrorism?”

“You and Mr. Rogers have ties with the military and got involved in an… incident with explosives that ended with millions of Romanian property destroyed and Romanian officers and civilians dead. And that’s pretty much the definition of a declaration of war.”

“Ok, that’s just ridiculous, this isn’t a court and are you accusing my client of anything else, Agent Costin?” Barton’s lawyer got in the way.

“Not at all, Ms. lawyer, merely giving the definition of a military declaration of war. See you all in court.”

Tony’s hand was already flying towards his pocket. The phone ringed twice before being answered.

“Uh… Bruce? There is some stuff that happened.”

_“Figured as much when the SRI and FBI came knocking at three a.m. What did they do? I saw the news, which was a mess of explosions.”_

“I think that we will prolly be called as witnesses. And damn, good luck to the soul that will have to gather an unbiased jury for this.”

_“… what?”_

~*~

The defense lawyer thought that this would look good in her resume, yeah well, she not only thought wrong but this was turning into such a…

“I don’t quite understand your insistence in mentioning Dr. Stark’s endeavors but very well.

Iron Man only ever targeted SI’s weapons caches and that limited objective was the reason of his success, no one would have believed him if he said that he would end the terrorist organization itself. Sure, he had knowledge that few did: the identities of the leaders but he still wasn’t the one to completely kill them.

Obadiah Stane and his men did that in a double cross to obtain the armor’s specs despite the fact that Dr. Stark is credited, largely due to the fact that by disarming the Ten Rings, Dr. Stark created the weakness that caused their downfall because their man power source was SI’s weapons. That’s was actually what allowed Stane to commission Dr. Stark’s death.

Iron Man was used to retrieve and or destroy SI’s weapons that fell in the wrong hands, not to destroy the parties that acquired them. If he had claimed otherwise, Dr. Stark would have been very aggressively stopped. Not one single individual or… half a dozen, have the tools necessary to fight terrorism. That’s why whole agencies are there, because destroying is easy, defending is harder.”

The lawyer waited for a few minutes to see if Rogers had anything to add before continuing.

“You claim that your objective was to destroy Hydra, **_that_** is something that you can’t say in a thousand years.”

“But that’s what we were doing there.”

“Be that as it may, no one that has minimal understanding of what a terrorist organization **_is_** and…healthy mental faculties, would even try to tackle one. Since you have been… unaccustomed to the twenty first century, you can be somewhat excused but your friends,” she shook her head, “they will go down hard.”

Steve shook his head, “I don’t understand. We were doing what I always did, what we always did: trying to save people.”

“Look, Mr. Rogers. No one will contest New York when aliens were raining down and to America, you can do no wrong,” she didn’t seem to realize the confused frown thrown her way, “but the rest of the world isn’t going to give you carte blanche. They have their own way of dealing with terrorism.”

“Is that what the world has come to? Pride getting in the way of helping people?”

“What pride?” she sighed and tried again, “Mr. Rogers, imagine that someone broke into your house and you have your own ideas to deal with the issue. They might take some time however, and someone decides that it’s not going fast enough and that you clearly need help. They break into your house because…the invader returned to the crime scene. In the process, your house is destroyed. How would you feel if that someone just says that they were trying to help and you’re being prideful?”

The lawyer watched as her client struggled with himself before exhaling, “I get where you going but Hydra isn’t just someone that invaded a house.”

“Oh, that’s the other thing: investigations concluded that there is no way the building you guys demolished was a Hydra post.”

“WHAT? We saw them! They were conducting experiments with whatever they manage to get from the Chitauri!”

“It’s gonna be your word against theirs. And they swear that they were just milling around.”

“What about all the stolen armor? The weapons and the tech?”

“You mean the ones you destroyed or the ones destroyed in the last of a series of explosions?”

“We had to destroy them! They were in the wrong hands!”

“Perhaps but you know why U.S founded Damage Control? The tech is being hoarded until there is a safe way to destroy them – which by the way, considering it’s alien tech we have no way of knowing the possible biochemical fallout for humans of what you did until it’s already too late – but also because they are proof of a crime, without which no one has any way to prosecute those that had them.”

She gave him a meaningful look.

“We are the Avengers! We wouldn’t lie!”

“Your word against theirs,” she repeated, “That’s not how it works in court. The law theoretically applies to everyone equally, so throwing names into it will not help. Saying that you’re Captain America is not a legal argument, it’s not proof of anything and it won’t hold any water.”

“Even after everything we did for the world?”

She carefully and wisely chose not to mention that Romanoff and Barton weren’t exactly examples of honesty, “Ok… let’s pretend that Freddy Mercury accuses you of stealing one of his songs. He contributed to the music industry in a way that few people ever did, so in court, saying, “I’m Freddy Mercury” should mean something?”

“Who’s Freddy Mercury?”

“Replace it with Frank Sinatra.” She quickly went through forties singers.

The blond grimaced, “Ok, but this example is ridiculous, what would I even do with a song?”

“For starters: sell it and also, guess what those men in the supposed Hydra base said to the officers?”

And the Super Soldier could only blanch, “What would we do with alien tech?”

“And since they have no previous record of anything besides some speeding tickets, it looks like the Avengers targeted a random building for reasons unknown because and I repeat, we **_can’t_ ** say that you thought you were fighting Hydra. As it is, even if somehow we get proof that they **_were_** Hydra, you knowingly tempered with the scene, which means that you’re guilty of accessory after the fact.” She rubbed her throbbing temples.

“What does it mean? Accessory after the fact?”

“Can we both agree that by destroying those weapons and tech, you destroyed the evidence that would prove that they were Hydra?”

Very visibly unwillingly and ashamed, Steve nodded.

“Well, if you guys were less through and evidence turns up that does condemn those men and women as Hydra, it means that you destroyed evidence that would condemn them as Hydra.”

“You already said that.”

“Yes. Well, you see, if you destroyed evidence that condemn them as Hydra you also and basically, not matter how unknowingly and unwillingly, protected Hydra.”

“We didn’t! How can you even…?!”

“Because you destroyed evidence that could prove that they are Hydra. They are not going to be prosecuted for anything now. Legally, you can and are only going to be accused of assault by the individuals in that building that now no one can prove to be terrorists.” She watched as the man slumped in his chair, some part of her was sympathetic and even believed that they were Hydra, but without proof, they had nothing but the dread that they will show up again, “Besides, that’s not even the only reason we can’t mention Hydra.”

“There is more?”

“Remember what I said about terrorist organizations? It’s impossible to completely eradicate them, our only hope is to contain them.”

Steve opened his mouth to dispute that. He did manage to fight Hydra back in ’44 only to close his mouth. He didn’t really, did he? They were around here and now in the twenty first century.

The lawyer eyed her client, she needed to drill the point home or else Mr. Rogers could destroy his own defense, “Terrorism is all based on ideas. Hydra is no different. You can’t kill an idea, I heard that people have already told you that but it seems that you didn’t fully grasp what it means. You can kill or imprison every single member, you can turn their bases into ashes and lecture crowds how Hydra’s fundaments are wrong. The idea is never going to die. Someday, somewhere, someone will read about it, hear about it and agree with the principle of the thing, perhaps strongly enough that they will start spreading the word and gain followers and adepts. In every group anywhere and everywhere, there can be extremists willing to do anything in order to put the theory into practice and the world will be back at square one. You don’t destroy a terrorist organization because terrorism is an idea taken to criminally violent extremes.”

She took a quick look to the watch in the wall, “Our time is up. I will come back tomorrow and I know you didn’t ask for my opinion but I think Dr. Stark was right.”

“What does Tony have to do with this?”

“He gave an interview when it was clear that the Avengers were still running even after SHIELD fell, not only citing his responsibilities outside of Iron Man to explain why he wasn’t with the Avengers but also the Avengers’ unsuitability to handle every day’s crimes.”

“Unsuitability?”

“Yes.” She said firmly, “If fighting Hydra is what you were truly trying to do, Hulk, Thor and Iron Man are too conspicuous for the job. Hell, **_you’re_** too conspicuous for the job. It would be overkill and unskilled. Fighting Hydra involves a spy to infiltrate, sabotage and gather the evidence and a sniper in case things go south for the spy, which you got right with Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Barton, there is no need for a very hard punch and lightening and repulsor blasts. Overkill and unskilled.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for Andria, that asked me for something like this a year ago and I am just now delivering it ^//^
> 
> 1) Despite what the movies DON'T show us *roll eyes*, in comics and animated stuff, Fury is seen many times warning his agents not to get caught or seen by the local officials... wonder why *roll eyes*
> 
> 2) Why would Tony be called? Seriously.
> 
> 3) I honestly have no idea if Sam's fanboying goes so far that he is willing to ignore that hey, American military (retired or not) starting stuff in other countries can be considered a declaration of war... I mean... what??
> 
> 4) The Avengers fighting any kind of terrorist organization would end in such a disaster... yikes.
> 
> 5) If the jury can't be biased against Rogers and co, they also can't be biased FOR them. So 'I'm Captain America', 'We are the Avengers', is not and shouldn't be a legal argument... hell, it can barely be counted as AN argument at all.
> 
> 6) For the Cap Stan that said that Damage Control was profitting from the Chitauri tech... yeah, because we clearly saw that happening in SM: H instead of the whole thing being hoarded and collecting dust because, hey... how do we know that destroying it via explosions wouldn't release some biological alien stuff lethal to humans?


End file.
